Budhas (For a few bills more)
von Jacques Pinard Brown (Copyright)
Budhas, a chubby cooperate American from a dubious gene pool, sat under the cherry tree when the great thought; of investing his thirty US Dollars in Microstuff shares, occurred to him. From this inspirational thought he deduced the three fundamentals of capitalism; greed, self-interest and corruption. These fundamental laws lead to the faith system of Hypocrisy.
This Hypocritical and Hedonistic faith soon had many followers out of the ranks of the overweight and mentally destitute Westerners. They saw the hope of deliverance from their tax burdens in the teaching of Budhas.
Microstuff Word spread quickly among the morally disadvantaged west and Budhas won many converts to his new doctrine of I-want-what-I-want-when-I-want-it. He founded his first temple at a place called Capitol Hill and the temple was soon filled with expectant and devout followers. A new order of priests was established with various titles such as congressman, senator and governor but all fell under the grouping of politician.
Politicians had to possess the ability and desire to be more corrupt and greedy than the lay capitalist. They succeeded admirably and this led to an increased spread of capitalism among the lower castes. When the entire congregation was well and truly wallowing in self-indulgence the other denominations of the globe saw how profitable the ideology of exploitation and excess was and decided to adopt the faith of Budhas.
By the beginning of the third millennium the entire populace of the world was devout capitalists. Even the leaders of the rival religion, communism, secretly prayed to the god of the Microstuff Corporation. Budhas looked set to conquer the hearts of mankind and subsequently the world.
But one day the spirit of Microstuff market shares became ill and died and the whole system collapsed. Because of the resulting global misery Budhas, his kind and his faith, became a curse on the lips of men again, as was meant from the beginning.
The search for an alternative solution began anew and the world was a better place. Budhas hung himself from the cherry tree and it is said that the returns of his thirty dollars US was found in his pocket, thirty dimes.
Budhas’s delusions of grandeur were brought to a close, but the moral of the story remains dangling in the air to this day.
The End.